What happened to civility?

I find there is an increasingly regrettable trend in political debate in this country. It is a trend that frequently causes distress and unhappiness rather than stimulating intellectual debate. I refer to the tendency to hurl abuse, ridicule or intimidate during an argument.

Take a recent email I received> I hade in an earlier correspondence commented that I found his personal attacks on me abusive. I stated:

“In future, if you have anything to say to me, kindly keep the matter to political issue and omit the personal abuse. It is uncalled for and unappreciated.”

To which he replied:
“I have not given you any personal abuse, if you want to deem that I have that is your choice. You do not know me so do not tell me what i should or should not do … Trust me I have no qualms about putting my point of view forward publicly ….”.

These are not isolated comments. I have experienced them via emails, on discussion forms and in meetings. I am sufficiently old-fashioned to believe they are uncalled for.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we should all sit down over a coffee and all agree with Tacitus. Indeed, it would be a tragic would if that ever happened. Far from having all the answers, I sometimes wonder if I even know the questions. No, we should cherish a diversity of opinion and listen and welcome it when it is offered.

Our modern culture seems to enjoy humiliating and abusing people publicly – even our TV encourages it. Millions savour the nightly (or is it weekly, I don’t know) gladiatorial display of people being forced to make fools of themselves in some public baptism. Programmes like “Big Brother” or “I’m a celebrity …” have a lot to answer for, but so too do our modern youth. They even have a word now to describe the act of ‘one-upping’ and making someone look foolish – they call it ‘pwned’.

No, it is fundamentally disrespectful and we should not tolerate it. As readers will know, I am a hard-line leftwinger, but I am also a realist and accept that many do not agree with my views. Democracy allows me the right to express my opinion – and, in turn I MUST allow others the right to disagree, sometimes forcefully. But let’s make sure in our debates that we keep to the topic in hand.

In our arguments we have no need to imply directly or indirectly that someone is foolish for holding a view. What is wrong with accepting that if you really, really listen to what the other person is saying – if you totally accept their right to disagree the, sometimes, just sometimes they, for their part and often prepared to start listening to you.

I can think of no finer moments than spending an hour arguing passionately with political opponents and then going to a local coffee shop and enjoying their very pleasant company. God forbid, they were Tories – but since when should that stop us being friends?